Ruth Sequeira

A lot has happened this year, each day brought something; something new or something old, something happy or something sad, something exciting or something disappointing; always something, never nothing.

I am an optimist, but I can recall more painful memories than moments of happiness. I've had a horrible year.I have been tried physically, mentally and spiritually. If there is one principle I stand by it is that, everything is an experience. Good, bad or ugly, everything is an experience and we take away something from it.

People say, I've taken on too many things this year, they are right. I have. But it's these same people who have voted/ nominated/ led me to all the posts I hold. Life was tough, more accurately disappointing. I worked hard for every one of my duties, I agree I wasn't the best, but I gave my all. The saddest part is that you are rarely rewarded as much as you have worked. I was disheartened by this at first, but, from various experiences througout the year I have learnt to accept this. That's the way things are, I can't change it, so I continue giving, because that's me. My friends say I'm stupid, maybe I am. However, I'd like to believe that all these experiences, though not rewarded now, will benefit me in the long run.

The best part of this year? I made friends with people I hardly ever imagined I would. People in their thirties, people in their teens, people who have it all, people who barely make it, people from India, people from abroad. I have come in contact with all these people and learnt many nice things and shared fabulous experiences with them. Sadly, some of the most bitter things that happened in the year, were my experiences with people. This year, I've learnt to appreciate those who behave like animals outrightly; compared to those who pat your back and stroke your hair, and when you least expect it, they ram your head onto a rock.

I don't mean to whine, but those who know me, will agree, I am being quite honest, when I say I have had a bad year. I have cried often. I have been ridiculed, I have been ostracized,I have been accused, I have been close to death. I've learnt many things this year, through my illnesses and my mistakes. I'd question God; “why me?”, but now, I've learnt to accept. I cry, I hurt within, but then I stand up and smile. Nothing has happened randomly. There is a purpose and I will see it some day.

Ofcourse, I have to admit, there were wonderful moments this year. Eating Khakra and Cheese Spread at 2 am, an unplanned trip to Bangalore, riding a bike in the rain, learning item numbers on a Sunday morning, stuffing the Christmas chicken, standing at the top of the lighthouse, wearing a saree, swimming in the sea, writing stupid letters and embarrasing myself in public. I've had a hell lot of fun.

Since January my life has been painful. It's December. I'm nearly at the end, but actually so much closer to a new begining.